Spontaneous combustion- the ignition of substances without application of an external heat source. (A good plot for the x-files)
Getting a hug- Hmmmm…nice
House guests- How many visitors does it take to drive you crazy? Go on- take a guest!
Meatloaf- Large and intimidating—(the dish not the singer!)
Pirates- “yo, ho, yo, ho, a pirates life for me
Dark alleys- Don’t go there!
Ninjas
A morgue- given strange eons, even death may die (H.P. Lovecraft)
A school cafeteria- food fight!
Kilts- if Mel Gibson can wear one, so can you.
Television- one-hundred and sixty-four channels and nothing worth watching
Spilled milk- got milk? WHOOPS apparently not…
Vampires- legendary blood sucking monsters.
Flying monkeys- the reason why the wizard of oz still gives us nightmares
Spiders- there are more than 34,000 species of spiders. Try not to think about THAT right before bedtime.
Gossip- petty, backbiting, rumor-mongering, (see also: journalism)
Chickens- from incubator to rotisserie in 56 days. (run chickn run!)
A haunted house- maybe if people would STOP building their dream homes on ancient burial grounds…
Scene of the crime- it was colonel mustard, in the library, with the candlestick.
Canadians- how many Canadians does it take to screw in a light bulb? Fifteen, fourteen to chip it out of the ice, and one to screw it in.
My family- they’ll drive you nuts. As long as you do the same to them, it’s all even.
Doing the dishes- you wash, I’ll watch.
Cleaning the bathroom- it’s YOUR turn!
Lawyers- we’d throw some joke in here, but were afraid of getting sued.
Summer camp- if the bugs don’t get you, the poison ivy will!
Duct tape- all purpose…all of the time…
Stephen king- 1947- American author of horror novels who’s sold more than 100 million copies of his books. Talk about frightening…
Tree huggers- environmentalists to the left, wackos to the right
My boss- …is an idiot. You know it, we know it.
Cell phones- get off the phone or get off the road!
A crawl space- where you’ll find something the cat dragged in.
My bedroom- no one knows what goes on behind closed doors
My body- mine is a temple- specifically the temple of doom…
Skiing- Swiss for suicide
The end of the world- it’s the end of the world as we know it, and I feel fine…
My refrigerator- it’s a science experiment!
Trailer parks- also known as tornado magnets
Hand grenades- close only counts in horseshoes and hand grenades!
Count Dracula- I vant to suck your blood!
Chameleons- the chameleon is a lizard that changes color when frightened (or is that a politician)
Computer hackers- we didn’t mean to shut down the entire government…
Reading a book- so many books, so little time
Going to the dentist- this wont hurt a bit…
Parenting- the process of discovering you are becoming just like your parents
At my parents house- like never-never land, your never seen as an adult here
Conspiracy theories- oh, that was just a coincidence!
Cults- they seemed nice…
Toasted marshmallows- how do you like yours- golden brown or flaming?
Toasters- wait- don’t stick that fork in there!
Batman- how does batman’s mother call him home? “dinner, dinner, dinner, dinner, dinner, dinner, dinner, dinner- BATMAN!
Castles- kings, queens, knights in shining armor, and little square hamburgers
Grave robbers- famous for their bodies of work
Mosquitoes- they suck
Jack the ripper- accused of murdering six women in 1888 and suspected in other murders. Still at large.
The KKK- if they’re supposed to be the master race, why do they keep misspelling “clan”?
Brains- vital to human existence and mad scientists
Leeches- any mention of lawyers, agents, or reporters would be FAR too easy…
Family reunions- just to remind you why you moved away in the first place…
The mafia- a loose association of criminal groups, bound to a blood oath and sworn to secrecy. (of course now we have to kill you)
Ghost towns- population unknown
Cold pizza- the breakfast of champions
Babies- little bundles of joy…who needs sleep anyway?
A sunset- the sun never set on the British empire…because god didn’t trust the English in the dark.
Clowns- they would be really funny if they weren’t so darn scary.
Hooligans- hey kids! Get outta my yard!
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1 comment:
I don't get Apples to Apples. I played a couple of times and it did not seem fun to me.
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